Wednesday, November 22, 2023

A QUICK SUBARU TRIP TO STRATFORD ONTARIO AND BACK AGAIN TODAY

 HEADING EAST UNDER A HEAVY GRAY CLOUD COVER EARLIER TODAY
It was just me in the Subaru heading to the Stratford Subaru dealer this morning.  Subie was overdue for an oil change and they managed fit me in this morning at 10:30.  I rolled out of the driveway under a heavy cloud cover but at least it wasn't raining and Tuesday's gusting winds had stopped overnight.  And, once again you can tell that the majority of today's photos were taken through Subie's windshield or side windows while on the move.  I think of every 100 photos I take, two-thirds of them are taken right from the driver's seat of either the Jeep or the Subaru.  I guess you could call them 'Al's drive-by shootings'.

 I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS FELLOW IS CUTTING BUT NOTICE THE BIG TRACKS ON THE MACHINE INSTEAD OF TIRES....OBLIVIOUSLY BETTER TRACTION FOR MUDDY FIELDS
 ALL THAT STEAM IS EMANATING FROM CORN DRIYERS WEST OF MITCHELL ONTARIO
 I GOT ANOTHER WINDMILL FOR YA MIKE  (IN MEMORY OF OUR FRIEND,  ARIZONA'S MIKE McFALL)
 GRAIN WAGONS LINED UP FOR THE CORN HARVEST
There are 3 routes between our place and Stratford.  The northern route, the center route, and the southern route.  The center route is most direct but has a number of small towns along the way plus all of Stratford to go through to reach Subaru so I never go that way.  This morning, after gassing up in Clinton I took the northern route to Stratford's north end then around the city east to the Subaru dealership.  I came home the southern route two hours later which followed Stratford's Lorne Avenue west out Stratford.  

I GOT ANOTHER WINDMILL FOR YA MIKE....(IN MEMORY OF  OUR ARIZONA RV FRIEND  MIKE McFALL)
Kelly had noticed the Subaru pulling to the right a few days ago and I noticed it doing that on my way to Stratford this morning as well.  So, while at the Subaru dealer for an oil change I mentioned it to them and they determined Subie needed a front-end wheel alignment.  So, they did that and they were right because later on the way home there was no more pulling to the right.  I prefer having my oil changes done there because they automatically check out and go over a number of things on the car, plus top up all the fluids, check tire pressures, and when it's all done they wash the car as well.  Yes, it may cost a little more at the Subaru dealer than other places doing the oil change but I always leave there feeling confident that everything is in order and working fine.  Thanks David:))

 A NEW SUBARU FORESTER SPORT IN THE SHOWROOM
 I LIKE THE RED STITCHING IN THE SEATS AND THE ORANGE HIGHLIGHTS

 SITTING IN SUBARU'S WAITING ROOM WITH MY KINDLE READER
After departing the Subaru dealership I made a stop at Wendy's for a 'Dave's Double Burger'. Wisening up this time, I made sure my lap was covered up and protected from the usual mustard, ketchup, onions, cheese, tomatoes, butterscotch sauce, ice cream, lettuce, pickles, and burger grease.  And, by golly it worked, and I didn't muck my pants up for a change.  However, had they been clean pants this morning there is no doubt a gust of wind would have come in through my open window and blown my protective splash cover right off my pants.  A split second later there would have been a ker-splat and, well you know...........

 I GOT MY PANTS WELL PROTECTED THIS TIME
A nice drive home on dry roads kept the car clean for our drive to London Thursday morning.  Isn't it amazing how a clean vehicle always seems to run so much better than a dirty one.  Quieter, smoother, and more zip.  So, there you are.  If you want your vehicle to run better, just go out and wash it eh:))  And, it's another early start for us again in the morning.  We are both looking forward to Friday morning when we can wake up with absolutely no particular place to go...........     

 HEADING HOME I NOTICED THIS FELLOW OUT DOING SOME PLOWING

Al's Music Box:)) The Sloop John B by the Beachboys.  The Kingston Trio's 1958 recording of "The John B. Sails" was recorded under the title "The Wreck of the John B." It was the direct influence on the Beach Boys' version. The Beach Boys' Al Jardine was a keen folk music fan, and he suggested to Brian Wilson that the Beach Boys should record the song. As Jardine explains:  Brian was at the piano. I asked him if I could sit down and show him something. I laid out the chord pattern for 'Sloop John B.' I said, 'Remember this song?' I played it. He said, 'I'm not a big fan of the Kingston Trio.' He wasn't into folk music. But I didn't give up on the idea. So what I did was to sit down and play it for him in the Beach Boys idiom. I figured if I gave it to him in the right light, he might end up believing in it. So I modified the chord changes so it would be a little more interesting. The original song is basically a three-chord song, and I knew that wouldn't fly.  So I put some minor changes in there, and it stretched out the possibilities from a vocal point of view. Anyway, I played it, walked away from the piano and we went back to work. The very next day, I got a phone call to come down to the studio. Brian played the song for me, and I was blown away. The idea stage to the completed track took less than 24 hours.  Wilson elected to change some lyrics: "this is the worst trip since I've been born" to "this is the worst trip I've ever been on", "I feel so break up" to "I feel so broke up", and "broke up the people's trunk" to "broke in the captain's trunk". The first lyric change has been suggested by some to be a subtle nod to the 1960s psychedelia subculture.  The instrumental section of the song was recorded on July 12, 1965, at United Western Recorders, Hollywood, California, the session being engineered by Chuck Britz and produced by Brian Wilson. The master take of the instrumental backing took fourteen takes to achieve. Wilson's arrangement blended rock and marching band instrumentation with the use of flutes, glockenspiel, baritone saxophone, bass, guitar, and drums.  The vocal tracks were recorded over two sessions. The first was recorded on December 22, 1965, at Western Recorders, produced by Wilson. The second, on December 29, added a new lead vocal and Billy Strange's 12-string electric guitar part. Jardine explained that Wilson "lined us up one at a time to try out for the lead vocal. I had naturally assumed I would sing the lead since I had brought in the arrangement. It was like interviewing for a job. Pretty funny. He didn't like any of us. My vocal had a much more mellow approach because I was bringing it from the folk idiom. For the radio, we needed a more rock approach. Wilson and Mike Love ended up singing it."  On the final recording, Brian Wilson sang the first and third verses and Mike Love sang the second.  Kent Hartman, in his book The Wrecking Crew, described Billy Strange's contribution to the song. Brian Wilson called Strange into the studio one Sunday, played him the rough recording, and told him he needed an electric twelve-string guitar solo in the middle of the track. When Strange replied that he did not own a twelve string, Wilson responded by calling Glenn Wallichs, the head of Capitol Records and owner of Wallichs Music City.  A Fender Electric XII and Twin Reverb amplifier were quickly delivered (despite the shop they were ordered from being closed on Sundays), and Strange recorded the guitar part in one take. Wilson then gave Strange $2,000 to cover the cost of the equipment.

 ON MY WAY TO STRATFORD THIS MORNING I NOTICED THIS LITTLE FELLOW NORTHWEST OF SEAFORTH ONTARIO
GROANER'S CORNER:((  Once upon a time Dracula decided to carry out some sort of a competition to see which is the finest bat to stand on his side. So all the bats were honored to take part. The rules were simple. Whichever bat drinks more blood, will be the winner? So the first bat goes and comes back after 10 minutes. Her mouth was full of blood. Dracula says: "Congratulations, how did you do that?" The bat said: "Do you see that tower? Behind it there is a house. I went in and sucked the blood of all the family". "Very good" said Dracula. The second bat goes and comes back after 5 minutes all her face covered in blood. Dracula astonished says, "How did you do that?" The bat replies " Do you see that tower? Behind it there is a school. I went in and drunk the blood of all the children". "Impressive," said Dracula. Now the third bat goes and comes back after three minutes literally covered in blood from top to toe and looking battered. Dracula is stunned. "How on earth did you do that????" he asked. And the bat replies. "Do you see that tower?" Dracula replies with a yes. And the bat says "Well, I didn't".

------------------------------------

You might be a redneck if...

You don't know what a redneck is.

You're still upset that they canceled "The Dukes of Hazzard".

You thought ER was ET's cousin.

You think a strip joint is where they disassemble cars.

You are in 6th grade and the only one in your family that can write your name.

You've ever been stuck in your own driveway.

You refer to your dog as the dishwasher.

Your car is made out of 17 others and each part is a different color.

You repair your car in the Autoparts store parking lot.

You can name all the characters from the "Dukes of Hazzard".

You recite lines from "The Dukes of Hazzard".

You keep track of all the belt holders in all the wrestling leagues.

You got married in the family car, in a drive-thru chapel.

You search your computer monitor for the dial that changes channels.

You just bought your family their first Atari game system.

You and your wife celebrate your anniversary at the K-mart cafeteria.

You think the only tools "real men" need are duck tape and caulk, and you have successful repair projects to prove it.
-------------------------------------



Tuesday, November 21, 2023

TWO TRIPS TO LONDON TODAY IN NASTY WEATHER BUT THAT'S OKAY BECAUSE KELLY ACED HER STRESS TEST THIS MORNING:))))))

 WE STOPPED HERE SO I COULD STRETCH MY CRAMPED LEGS
It was cold dark and windy morning when we all piled into the Subaru and headed out the driveway at 6:48 a.m.  With the possibility of freezing rain ahead I  had my fingers crossed.  Fifteen minutes into our drive the first raindrops began hitting the windshield but luckily, those raindrops were not freezing.  From that point on, it rained all the way to London where Pheebs and I dropped Kelly off at University Hospital's main door at 7:58.  From there we turned around and headed back north out of London.  Our first stop was the Ten Mile Road 'Medway Cemetery' where we stopped and I stretched my cramped legs.  The next stop along the way was at Lucan's Tim Hortons where we slipped through the drive-thru.  When the young kid at the window handed me my coffee the lid wasn't on tight and I ended up with a minor coffee spill on the same pants I had greased up with a Double Buddy Burger at an A&W a few weeks ago.  Maybe these are just my bad luck pants.  From there, with a shaky coffee in hand, we headed on home lollygagging all the way.....in the rain.

 DROPPING KELLY OFF AT THE HOSPITAL THIS MORNING
 COFFEE SPILL ON MY PANTS
I managed to grab myself a few zzzzz's before loading up Pheebs and heading back to London later this morning about 11:15.  They told Kelly she would be done around 12:30 so Pheebs and I pulled into London's big Masonville Mall parking lot to await Kelly's call.  We were only there about 15 minutes when my cell phone rang.  It was Kelly and I could tell right away from her cheery-sounding voice that she had had a good morning and I knew we had dodged yet another bullet on Kelly's way to a liver transplant.  Minutes later, with two Tim Hortons coffee in hand, I picked her up at the hospital's main entrance and we were on our way home.  And, it was still raining.

WHEN TODAY'S RAIN BECAME TOO MUCH, FARMERS ABANDONED THEIR MACHINES IN THE FIELD
I wrote a whole conflooberation of Kelly's procedure today and then tonight, Kelly found a copy of the procedure's description.  So, instead of my back asswards fumblings I give you here the real thing.....Myocardial perfusion imaging (MPI)   The technician places small pads (electrodes) on your chest, arms and legs. The pads have wires that hook up to a machine to record your electrocardiogram (ECG or EKG). The ECG keeps track of your heartbeat during your test and is used to tell the camera when to take a picture.

  • You’ll wear a cuff around your arm to track of your blood pressure.
  • The technician will put an intravenous line (IV) in your arm. 
  • You’ll exercise on either a treadmill or a stationary bicycle.
  • If you can’t exercise, your IV will be connected to a bag that has a medicine to widen the arteries in your heart or make it go faster, similar to when you exercise. This is called a chemical stress test.
  • When you reach your peak activity level, you’ll stop and receive a small amount of radioactive material (tracer) through the IV.
  • You’ll lie still on a table for 10-30 minutes while the gamma camera takes pictures of your heart. Several scans are done during that time to provide pictures of thin slices of your entire heart from all angles. It’s important to hold still with your arms above your head while the pictures are being taken.
  • During the resting part of the test, you’ll receive more tracer and another set of pictures will be taken. This set of images will be compared to the images taken after exercise or stress.
  • So, everything was good and everything was positive today.  One of the two nurses conducting the recumbent bicycle test told Kelly she aced the test with flying colors. The nurse also said the results of all of today's tests will be known in about five days.  We're hoping for good results there too.  Not sure what the next step is but we'll be back to University Hospital on Thursday when Kelly has an appointment with an Anesthesiologist person.  It looks like an hour-and-a-half appointment, and with Thursday's weather calling for a sun and cloud day, Pheebs and I will likely cruise around a few country roads waiting for her to give us a call to pick her up.  Tomorrow looks like another rainy day:((

    Ellen's Groove:))  In this video, Ellen slows it down and using a fretless bass melodically plays Yousician's 'Quantum Science'.  Notice also how her outfit matches the background.  Kind of reminds me of a Japanese tea garden setting.  A nice change of pace for Ellen. 

     I THINK TODAY'S HEAVY WIND GUSTS WERE TRYING TO BLOW THE TARP OFF THIS WAGON HAULING CORN
    Al's Music Box:)) Wildfire by Michael Martin Murphy from his 1975 album, 'Blue Sky-Night Thunder'.  In a 2008 interview, Murphey talked about the origins of the song and the context in which it was written. He was a third-year student at UCLA, working on a concept album for Kenny Rogers (The Ballad of Calico). The work was demanding, sometimes taking more than 20 hours a day. One night, he dreamed the song in its totality, writing it up in a few hours the next morning. He believes the song came to him from a story his grandfather told him when he was a little boy – a prominent Native American legend about a ghost horse. Murphey did not have a horse named Wildfire until a few years before the interview, when he gave that name to a Palomino mare.

     PHEEBS AND I SOMETIMES SEE THE STRANGEST THINGS IN THE COUNTRYSIDE
    GROANER'S CORNER:(( The little girl was SO proud of her Christmas presents, her first watch and her first perfume. She really made a pest of herself throughout the morning, going up to all the relatives and sticking that watch in their ear and insisting that they smell her perfume.  The preacher was coming for lunch, but before his arrival, the girl's mother had said, "If you mention that watch or that perfume just once more, I'm going to send you to your room for the rest of the day."  The meal went rather well, and the little girl held her tongue until just when the dessert was being served. She wanted to make sure that the preacher, too, knew about her new watch and her perfume: "If you hear anything or smell anything ... it's just me!"

    ----------------

    Two hunters are lost in the woods.  After wandering around for a couple hours they decide to weigh their options, one says:  "I heard if you shoot in the air someone will hear and come to your rescue".  So they fire a few times in the air and wait, nothing happens so they try again a couple more times, after a few hours of this they're starting to get worried and one says: "I hope we get help soon", to which the other responds, "I know, I am almost out of arrows"!

    ------------------------------------




    Monday, November 20, 2023

    THESE ARE ONCE AGAIN STRESSFUL DAYS HERE AT THE BUNCH

     A LARGE OCEAN-GOING SHIP HEADS FOR  GODERICH'S HARBOR AS DOES A LAKE FREIGHTER COMING IN FROM THE RIGHT 
    Another nice looking November morning but not such a nice feeling on the skin with 25F temperatures earlier on.  I think we did make it up to an almost tropical 34F later in the day.

    EVER WONDER WHERE YOUR HAPPY HALLOWEEN PUMPKINS WENT??  WELL, HERE THEY ARE
     GOING BY I MADE A MENTAL NOTE TO COME HOME THIS WAY AND CHECK THIS SPOT FOR A CORN SPILL...DID THAT HAPPEN? NOPE, FORGOT ALL ABOUT IT OF COURSE
     AREA CORN DRYERS HAVE BEEN GOING FULL-TILT
    With a few things to pick up in Goderich, Pheebs and I headed North.  Coffee, the harbor, and a stop at Walmart.  At a second stop at the Canadian Tire Store, I bumped into Richard and within 20 minutes we again had many of the world's problems straightened out.  Of course, by the time I got home later and turned on the news, everything was already in a big mess again:((

     I SPOTTED 5 VESSELS THIS MORNING INCLUDING THE ALGOMA CONVEYOR DOCKED AT THE SALT MINES NORTH PIER
     SOME OF THE VESSELS WERE SO FAR OUT IN THE LAKE THEY APPEARED AS MERE MIRAGES
     I BELIEVE THIS ONE TO BE A FISHING BOAT
     AN FAR OFF INBOUND LAKE FREIGHTER
     NO MIRAGE EFFECTS HERE AS THE SHIPKA HEADS FOR PORT
    ABOUT TO PASS THE OUTER BREAKWALL
     BOW TO BOW
     THE TUGBOAT OCEAN A. SIMARD ON THE RIGHT GUIDES THE SHIPKA INTO THE INNER HARBOR TO DOCK AT THE GODERICH GRAIN TERMINAL
    We have a very early start Tuesday morning with Kelly having an 8:15 appointment at London's University Hospital.  This appointment will last approximately 4 hours and involves a major stress test as well as a number of other vital tests and things that will determine whether Kelly gets taken off the 'on hold' list for a liver transplant and makes it onto the main list proper.  In other words, Tuesday morning is going to be yet another in a series of 'make or break' days.  Kelly's blood will be mixed with her anonymous donor's blood to determine the compatible degree of antibodies between them.  Now, I do not really understand all the medical stuff or how it works but I think if the donor's blood attacks and overpowers Kelly's blood, then there is no point of doing a liver transplant because it shows Kelly's antibodies would not be strong enough to sustain her in a recovery period.  Another donor would have to be found.  Now, I might have that all bat crazy wrong but you can get the gist of what's going on.  If she does poorly in the major stress test, that could also be a disqualification.  So, as with a couple other previous critical tests and procedures, this latest challenge and outcome will also affect her future in one of two critical ways.  These are once again stressful days here at the Bunch:((      

     PHEEBS FAVORITE SPOT IN THE SUNROOM IN FRONT OF OUR FIREPLACE BESIDE MY RECLINER
    Al's Music Box:)) She's Got You by Patsy Cline.   According to the Ellis Nassour biography Honky Tonk Angel: The Intimate Story of Patsy Cline, writer Hank Cochran remembers calling Cline and telling her that he'd just written her next number 1 hit. She told him to come over to her house with a bottle of liquor and play it on the guitar for her and her friend Dottie West who was visiting that afternoon. Cline was emotionally moved by its lyrics and loved the song so much that she learned it that night, calling up her manager and producer to sing it to them over the phone. At her next session, she recorded it. This was a rare instance, as Cline and her producer, Owen Bradley, often disagreed with each other's choice of material. This time, they both agreed they had a hit.

    GROANER'S CORNER:((  
    I went into the office early one morning and switched the M and N keys on everyone's keyboard. Some people will say I'm a monster.  The others will say I'm a nomster.

    - I'm going to have to return the camouflage jacket I bought last week...I just can’t see myself wearing it!

    - A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes, the disheveled guy turned to the priest and asked, "Say, father, what causes arthritis?"
    "Mister, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol and a contempt for your fellow man." "Well I'll be." the drunk muttered, returning to his paper.  The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long did you have arthritis?"  "Oh, I don't have it father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."

    ---------------------------------



    Sunday, November 19, 2023

    MY 'NDE' BOOK LIST.....AND MY BIG FROG CATCHING BUCKET IS NOW HALF FULL OF CORN

     ANOTHER NICE SUNNY NOVEMBER MORNING FOR A DRIVE THROUGH THE COUNTRYSIDE
    Under semi-sunny Sunday skies, Pheebs and I headed out again to see if we could find us some corn spills.  Due to strong winds, our 41F temps had a windchill factor of 32F so needless to say, there was no country road walk this morning.  Our morning travels took us on a slow roll southeast of Bayfield.  Even without leaves on the trees, it is still a pretty countryside.  On the last leg of our drive about to head home cornless, I suddenly spotted something ahead on the gravel road.  'Bingo' we scored ourselves a corn spill.  I wasn't long in getting my bucket and shovel out of the Jeep and in a few minutes I had our big frog-catching bucket half full of corn.  If we can find one or two more spills like that our front yard birds and squirrels will be all set for the Winter.  Me too.   

     BEAUTIFUL SKIES THIS MORNING
     AND HERE IS OUR BONANZA CORN SPILL FIND
     A SUNDAY MORNING FARMER OUT TAKING ADVANTAGE OF THE GOOD WEATHER
     HARDLY A COLORFUL LEAF TO BE SEEN ALONG THIS WEST-FACING BUSH LINE
     STILL SOME COLOR ALONG THIS EAST-FACING BUSH LINE
    I often wonder why it is that I (and countless others) wake up some mornings feeling sorta okay and other mornings wake up feeling like an old lump of coal.  Sometimes it's both a mental and physical feeling going on and other times it's one or the other although either one of those two things directly affects the other.  Oh, so many of life's little mysteries happening out here all the time eh.

    With some reader interest expressed in the blog comment section recently about the NDE (Near Death Experience) books I have read, I have compiled a list of those books.  But first, let me set this up by telling you how and what I use to do my reading.  I don't know what it is with my eyes but even with prescription glasses, it's hard for me to read printed matter like books, newspapers, flyers, magazines, etc.  Everything I read now is on my Kindle E-Reader.  The library I use for all my books is Amazon Kindle Books.  With Kindle Unlimited I get many, of my books for free.  Okay, so that gives you an idea about what I use to do my reading with.  Now for a list of books about NDE's a blog reader has requested by asking,  'Many scientists now admit there are things we do not know but that there is a LOT happening after brain death.  I would love to look at your book list'....... So here are the 25 books I have read on this subject so far.  I have a feeling I may have missed a couple..........

    - Awakenings From The Light by Nancy Rynes
    - The Light Beyond by Raymond Moody MD
    *Life After Life by Raymond Moody MD
    - Light and Death by Michael Sabom
    - On Death and Dying by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
    - Journey Of Souls by Michael Newton PHD
    - 24 Minutes On The Other Side by Tessa Romero
    - Evidence Of The Afterlife by Jeffrey Long
    - The Self Does Not Die by Titas Rivas
    - The Crossover Experience by DJ Kadagian-
    - Near Death Experiences by Wayne Purdin
    - Afterlife, The Whole Truth by Stephn Hawley Martin
    * After by Bruce Greyson MD
    *Proof Of Heaven: A Neurosurgeon's Journey by Eben Alexander
    - Near Death Experiences: 101 Experiences by Randy Kay
    - Near Death Experiences: 365 People Who Died by BCG
    - Near Death Experiences As Evidence by J Steve Miller
    - Near Death Experiences True Stories by Rachel Hopkins
    - Showing Us The Way Home by Joanne Coyle MD
    - The Joy Of Moving On by Joanne Coyle MD
    - God Took My Clothes by David Suich
    - Life After Life by Francesco Cherico MD
    *Near Death In The ICU by Laurin BellG MD
    - Being Mortal by Atul Gawande
    - Life At Death by Kenneth Ring

    With each book, I come away with an overall feeling that I am moving in the right direction in my quest for some sense of reason regarding this subject.  A subject, like many people, I didn't have an interest in until about a year ago.  Isn't it amazing how our interests change over the years.........     

    IF THE VIDEO BELOW WORKS IT IS KELLY'S GRANDDAUGHTER ELLA IN SPAIN RIDING A WILD BULL
    Al's Music Box:))
     Holding Back The Years by Simply Red was a single release in 1966.  
    Simply Red is fronted by singer-songwriter Mick Hucknall. Hucknall's mom, Maureen Taylor, walked out on him and his barber father, Reg, when he was three. The pain caused by not having a mother inspired him to write this song.  Hucknall wrote it in his bedroom at his father's house when he was 17. The inspiration for the song came from a teacher at the Manchester School of Art, where Hucknall studied fine art. The instructor suggested that the best paintings are created when the artist is in a state of unconscious creation, and Hucknall attempted to use this approach in his songwriting. "I wanted to do music, not art, so started writing lyrics that way," he told The Guardian. "The first song I wrote was called 'Ice Cream and Wafers.' The next was 'Holding Back the Years.'" Hucknall didn't realize what the song was about until he'd finished it. "It's about that moment where you know you have to leave home and make your mark, but the outside world is scary," he explained. "So you're holding back the years."

     BOTH PHEEBS AND I LOVE OUR SUNNY MORNING JEEP RIDES
    GROANER'S CORNER:((   The Silver Years::

    My doctor asked if anyone in my family suffered from mental illness and I said, "No, we all seem to enjoy it."
     
    Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say, Close enough."
     
    I'm a multitasker. I can listen, ignore, and forget all at the same time!
     
    Retirement to-do list: Wake up.
     
    People who wonder if the glass is half empty or half full miss the point. The glass is refillable.
     
    I don't have grey hair. I have wisdom highlights.
     
    Sometimes it takes me all day to get nothing done.
     
    I don't trip, I do random gravity checks.
     
    One minute you're young and fun. Next, you're turning down the car stereo to see better.
     
    Common sense is not a gift.
    It's a punishment because you must deal with everyone who doesn't have it.
     
    I came. I saw. I forgot what I was doing. Retraced my steps. Got lost on the way back.
     
    If you can't think of a word, say "I forgot the English word for it." That way people will think you're bilingual instead of an idiot.
     
    I'm at a place in my life where errands are starting to count as going out.
     
    I don't always go the extra mile, but when I do it's because I missed my exit.
     
    I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented…..... I forgot where I was going with this.
     
    Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave the house.
     
    It's weird being the same age as old people.
     
    When I was a kid, I wanted to be older. This is not what I expected.
     
    Life is like a helicopter. I don't know how to operate a helicopter either.
     
    It's probably my age that tricks people into thinking I'm an adult.
     
    Never sing in the shower! Singing leads to dancing, dancing leads to slipping, and slipping leads to paramedics seeing you naked.
     
    I see people my age mountain climbing.
    I feel good just getting my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.
     
    We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information in our heads.

    ----------------------------------