A CELEBRATION OF LIFE PART TWO

It was through rain showers I made my way to Stratford late Thursday afternoon and it was in blowing wet snow and darkness that I made my way home hours later.  But no matter, I enjoyed both music-filled drives coming and going.  

 SPRING CREEKS

I needn't have been so nervous about attending my late friend John Eifert's Celebration Of Life.  As long-time readers may know or remember, I will do just about anything to avoid groups of people or people in general.  The thought of walking into a room full of people I don't know or meeting people from my distant past who might remember me from my drinking days is paralyzing to me.  But for once, I steeled myself, beat down my overblown fears and insecurities, and headed for Stratford where the Celebration Of Life was to be held.  In my shirt pocket, I had a single folded piece of paper just in case I along with others might be called upon to stand up and share their memories of John.  On that list, I had 6 memories I was prepared to shakily stand up and share if called upon.  But, I never got to do that.  I guess some 'Celebrations Of Life are maybe structured toward people standing up to share memories and some aren't.  However, I will share those memories later in my post because as it turns out, a few people I met are blog readers and John's family is aware of my blog so I told them I would share some of my memories of John in my blog today.  So, I will start with my arrival at the W.G. Funeral Home Thursday night on the early side.  I parked the car and began walking towards the building not sure of which entrance to go in.  John's brother Jim spotted me from inside and came right out.  That was a big help and put an end to a big part of my nervousness.  For the next couple of hours, Jim and I stuck pretty close together.  And, we did that because I knew he was uncomfortable being there as well.  Jim and I had talked briefly about this a week ago and I knew Jim didn't like going to funerals anymore than I did.  But, this wasn't a funeral.  This was Jim's first 'Celebration of Life as well and we talked last night how both of us felt far more comfortable with this not being a full-blown funeral.  Jim said, this is how John would have wanted it.  No fuss and bother.  And, knowing John as well as I did back in the early 60's I totally understood his quiet nature and why he would have thought that way.

Ninety-five percent of the people there I didn't know and the few people I did know I had not seen for many years or decades.  When I saw a familiar face in the line-up I waved him over.  It was Tavistock born Gary Burton who was part of our tight little group back then.  We three Tavistock boys, Jim, Gary, and myself, stuck together for the next couple of hours going over many remembrances of John back in the sixties.  We were joined briefly by two other Tavistock guys I recognized, Joe Steinman and Bill Currah.  My cousin Joe I hadn't seen for over 50 years and Bill for probably 10 or more years.  The only other recognizable Tavistock face I saw was  Ken Seltzer who we also talked to.  There were a lot of people there and it looked like they had enough food laid out to feed the whole Siberian Army...... Okay, back to that piece of paper and the memories of John I had jotted down.  But first, let me quickly add this.  After writing the following memories today I came to the conclusion that it is better that I did it this way rather than getting up to speak because as so often happens if I'm nervous or too comfortable, I could look up and see everyone staring at me and end up like a deer caught in the headlights.  Or, I could turn into such a 'Blabbergoose' that the only way to shut me up is to have someone with a long-handled cane off to the side reach out, hook me, and pull me blabbering all the way off the stage.  

FROM MY 1962 WATERLOO-OXFORD DISTRICT HIGH SCHOOL YEARBOOK....JOHN AND I ARE AT THE EXTREME RIGHT FOREGROUND AND THIS IS IN THE GYMNASIUM BLEACHERS AND I THINK WE ARE ALL SINGING CHRISTMAS CAROLS

Memory number 1 on my list......It was the years 1990 to 1996 that John and I hung out together.  In late 65 I joined the Navy and left Tavistock.  Home again later in the 60's before leaving Tavistock again, I did see John maybe a few dozen times or so but it was in those early 60's that I got to know my best friend very well and it is those years I shall fondly remember.  John and I had many things in common that we liked but our personalities were very different.  John was the steady one, the quiet, soft-spoken one, and the mild-mannered one. I never saw him lose his temper, argue, or be aggressive to anyone.  I of course was the opposite off-the-wall hammerhead and the loose cannon on the deck in our friendship but it was John who kept me grounded more than I ever realized at the time.  He was also the smarter one of the two of us and the better-looking one which I will get to in my next memory of him.

 FROM MY 1961 YEARBOOK AND NOTICE MY FAVORITE SAYING AT THE FAR RIGHT....JOHN AND I WOULD GENERALLY MEET FOR LUNCH AT THE SCHOOL CAFETERIA WITH OUR MEAL TICKETS IN HAND....OUR FAVORITE WAS 'HOT DOGS'

Memory number 2 on my list...... It was well known that the two best-looking guys in Tavistock at that time were the Eifert brothers, both Jim and John and I was witness to this many times.  At high school, whether it be in the halls, the gymnasium, cafeteria, or on the streets of Tavistock or the beaches of Grand Bend Ontario, the following scenario would commonly play out.  If John and I were somewhere or walking along and some girls walked by or stopped to chat, this is what would happen.  Let's say we stopped to talk to 3 girls.  I might be doing most of the talking but all those three girls standing there never heard a word I was saying.  They had their eyes laser-focused on John. To say they were 'swooning' would be to put it mildly.  To those three girls, I was totally invisible.  It was like I wasn't even there.  And, that's just how good-looking John was. (and his brother Jim as well) John never flaunted his good looks.  He was way too shy in his own way to do that.  

 1962 YEARBOOK WITH JOHN IN THE WHITE SUIT, ME IN THE MIDDLE, AND ANOTHER TAVISTOCK LAD, JOHN YAUSIE..... AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHY WE ALL HAD TO BE DRESSED UP IN SUITS!!

Memory number three.........On the night of Sunday, February 9th, 1964 at 8 p.m. I knew exactly where John was.  In fact, I knew exactly where his brother Jim, was that night as well as Gary Burton and I think our other friend Craig Wilker.  We were at Gary's parent's cottage in Port Franks for the weekend and that night before heading home to Tavistock we stayed longer to watch television.  Why??  That was the night we all sat transfixed in front of the black and white TV screen watching the very first appearance of the Beatles on the Ed Sullivan Show.  

 JOHN AND JIM ON A COUCH AT OUR SICK FRIEND'S PLACE WHO DIED A FEW MONTHS LATER...HIS NAME WAS HELMUT HELL

Memory number 4........John and I got lost on a long hike one time.  Jim, John, Gary, and I were again staying a few days at Gary's parent's cottage.  Near the cottage was located a large army base called Camp Ipperwash located on the waters of Lake Huron.  It was a favorite hiking or winter tobogganing place for we Tavistock guys.  Of course we weren't supposed to be in there but we always were anyway.  The four of us set off on a hike one day through the sand dunes and heavy forest.  Not sure how John and I got separated from Jim and Gary but we did and we wandered much further and farther into the forested camp than we had ever gone before.  At some point we realized we were lost, but not before we discovered something that I'm sure very few people knew about or still know about today.  We came across an old cemetery that was so overgrown with weeds and grass that the old white tombstones were hardly visible.  I didn't carry a camera in those days or else we could have come out of there with the pictures to prove what we saw.  Now, back to the lost part.  I don't remember when it was we realized we were lost but I suspect we may have walked in a circle and recognized something something the second time around.  I recall it was a cloudy day so there was no sunlight casting shadows to at least indicate north and south.  And, there was a strong wind blowing and it was that wind which eventually helped us find our way out of the forest.   But first, we remembered the old saying, 'moss only grows on the north side of trees' so sure enough we spotted a few trees with moss on one side and immediately figured that pointed north and if we kept walking north we would eventually reach Lake Huron and from there we knew to head east along the shoreline to the cottage.  But then we noticed a big problem.  Trees with moss on both sides and the other two sides as well.  Now what!!  Were we lost forever?  Would the army camp soldiers eventually find us, or what was left of us?  And then we caught a break and this is where the wind played a hand.  Faintly, ever so faintly we could hear a slight sound off to one direction.  It took us a few minutes to realize what that sound was and we both came to the same conclusion.  What we were barely able to hear was the waves, whipped up by the wind, breaking on the far Lake Huron shores to the north somewhere.  It wasn't an easy task keeping the direction of that sound in our ears as we made our way along the rough and tumble floor but by repeatedly stopping and swiveling our heads like radar sets to hone in on that steady sound sound of breaking waves we finally made our way through the sand dunes and onto the beach and back to the cottage.  Whewwww'. 

 A SUMMER'S DAY AT KETTLE POINT ON THE SHORES OF LAKE HURON A FEW YEARS AGO

Memory number 4........In those years I had a 1961 Volkswagon Beetle and in the same sand dunes I just mentioned in memory number 3 Jim, John, and Gary with me driving through the dunes close to the beach the Volkswagon just up and quit and would not start.  Luckily, were in the first set of dunes and not far from the beach so with a lot of umphs and grunts mixed with a lot of words to turn the air blue, all four of pushed that VW Beetle back to the beach.  From there, Gary walked back to the cottage maybe a half mile away and got is his car, a Nash Rambler and back to where the rest of us were waiting with the stranded Volkswagon.  With a length of rope tied between the VW bug and the Nash Rambler and with me in the bug with the ignition key on and the clutch in, Gary was able to get me going just fast enough for me to 'pop the clutch' and the Volkswagon started.  It was later determined by a nearby garage mechanic that what probably happened is that some very fine sand dust had probably got into something called the points or something and the towing on the beach had somehow loosened the dust....or something.  

 HERE'S JOHN SAYING TO HIS BROTHER JIM WHO IS DRIVING...'HOME JAMES'

Memory number 5 and the last but favoritist one on my list.........You will have to kind of picture this one in your mind.  It's a quiet winter's night in a small village in southern Ontario.  It's about 7 p.m. in the evening when there's a knock on our door.  Of course, I knew it was my good buddy John and I already had my boots, and warm winter coat on.  We were young teenage boys at the time and liked to get outside and hang around doing kinda nothing sometimes.  And other times we might have something to do and one of those things was spearing snow banks.  Back in those days, there were no such things as snow blowers so trucks with plows on the front had to plow the village streets and that would create small and large chunks of snow built up along the roadside.  With a couple of broken hockey sticks from the local arena's hockey games, we would walk along the road chucking our hockey stick spears into the larger chunks of snow along the way.  What's so special about this memory is the stillness of the winter's night itself.  There were very few cars on the streets and no people.  Everyone was in their warm toasty houses watching TV after supper.  The words 'Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse' come to mind.  Maybe a canopy of twinkling diamond-like stars overhead some nights or maybe a light and gentle snowfall drifting lazily down.  And not a sound anywhere except for John and I talking, laughing, joking, kibbitzing back and forth. and chucking our hockey stick spears into the snowbanks as we ambled along under the streetlights of the village with hardly what we considered a care in the world back in those days.  Just a couple of good buddies hanging out.  And, it is with this winter's night memory of John that I shall always remember him best.  See you on the other side my friend and I hope you have kept your hockey stick spear handy so we can once again laugh and amble ourselves along spearing snowbanks on another quiet winter's night.............          

Al's Music Box:)) Six old songs tonight in memory of my best friend of years ago, John Eifert.  Both John and I liked these songs in our high school years.  Rhythm Of The Rain, Johnny Angel, The Mountains High,  Raindrops, Mission Bell, and Johnny Get Angry.  These songs formed a musical core between us that we would sometimes sing along with.

GROANER'S CORNER:((  Two elderly couples are enjoying a friendly conversation when one of the men asks the other,” Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?" "Outstanding," Fred replied. "They taught us all the latest psychological techniques: visualization, association, etc. It was great." "That's great! And what was the name of the clinic?" Fred went blank. He thought and thought, but couldn't remember. Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, "What do you call that flower with the long stem and thorns?"  "You mean a rose?"  "Yes, that's it!" He turned to his wife, "Rose, what was the name of that memory clinic?"

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- I've learned so much from my mistakes that I'm thinking of making a few more.

- You sound reasonable. Time to up my medication.

- I'll try being nicer if you'll try being
smarter.

- I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a
message .

-The potholes in my town will change your radio station and unlock your doors.

- My doctor told me I have high blood pressure and short-term memory loss.  At least I don't have high blood pressure.

- Someday, we'll look back on our teenage years, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

I always feel the need to check to make sure my garage door is locked at night before going to bed because I don't want someone stealing all the stuff we've been trying to get rid of for years.

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