No regular post tonight but I hope to be out from under this dark cloud hanging over me these past few days and get back to my normal blogging routine tomorrow. Key words there of course are 'hope to be':))
Hang in there Al. As you already know, it will take a lot of time to feel better. Yet it will always linger. Give Pheebs a good hug from me and the hounds.
There is no way that a person can go on as before after losing a loved one - it takes time to heal emotionally, and your life will always have an empty place.... it's just you and Pheebs now.
Dear Al, I am so very very sorry about your pain. Grief is tough. Especially after the loss of such a lovely and bright person like Kelly. Ohhhh, how I am enjoying and loving “Kelly’s Corner”! BAs are millions of your other blog fans,
It’s obvious you two had a wonderful unique love and relationship. Al, you have lost the love of your life (Kelly) - AND - you have lost a beautiful relationship.
Knowing you like to read, I have a book to recommend. It’s a short one. With lots of wisdom. And even a touch of humour. Kind of like your mesmerizing and entertaining Blog.
This book was recommended to me (and others) - by a retired fire chief - who was a member in the Grief Recovery Group that I (and others) were attending. He had lost his Dear Wife.
I bought the book. And thought it was wonderful. Not too deep, not much “deep psychological talk”. Not “syrupy”. Just full of love, practical advice, full of outstanding knowledge about grief. And how to survive it. So helpful!
Soon after, I was asked to become a “lay” volunteer grief counselor for my church. I had to go through much training. And I bought several of these books. To keep on hand….. Over the years, I have given MANY of these books (paperback), to those I have been blessed to be able to help them - even if just a little bit - as they process their grief. (Even though there isn’t “religion” mentioned, my grief advisor agreed it was a great - “QUICK START” to the road of recovery). And the ones I gave them to all enjoyed them. (I still pull mine off the shelf occasionally).
Probably one of the most important things I learned from this book, and now share with others on their Grief Journey - is that - even as one goes / grows through the process (steps/stages of grief) - it’s not always a straight path. Sometimes, just when you think “you have made progress” - “are doing better” - it’s possible to fall back into a previous stage. And then, eventually, you will get back up, and continue on your Journey.
You will survive the loss of dear, sweet, smart, Kelly. You will probably not be the same. But you will still be Al.
I have an extra paperback. Would love to mail it you, if I had your address. And then, there’s that pesky postal strike.
Sooooo - the book is available on Amazon (US). Probably available on Amazon (CA) Maybe it’s in Kelly’s beloved library?
Take care, Al. Yes, you will be okay. You will get those things done. Sooner or later, you will. Keep taking those rides and walks with Pheebs. Keep taking naps. Most importantly: Keep writing - when you can - it’s cathartic. Al you blog so honestly, and with such intent! Al, please know you are teaching and helping millions of your blog readers - all over the world!!
Sending positive thoughts and caring prayers to you, Al.
The book: By Peter McWilliams Harold H. Bloomfield Melba Colgrove - How to Survive the Loss of a Love
Al, the new year will be bittersweet, however with Miss Pheebs by your side and taking it one day at a time, I promise over time you will be stronger than before. Take care.
She wouldn't want you to be sad. She loved you, you her. It doesn't end. Love stays with you once shared, forever. You'll be ok. In your heart, you know all this already. We love you, Al & Pheebs.
I'm wishing you and Pheebs a very good year! Don't push yourself too hard by thinking you have to blog daily. You don't need to blog unless you feel like blogging. We all understand and want the best for you.
Hang in there Al. As you already know, it will take a lot of time to feel better. Yet it will always linger. Give Pheebs a good hug from me and the hounds.
ReplyDeleteWe’re hoping you take your time . . . as much as you need. Have to check in on you though. And wish you a Happy New Year! Happy New Year! Be well.
ReplyDeleteThere is no way that a person can go on as before after losing a loved one - it takes time to heal emotionally, and your life will always have an empty place.... it's just you and Pheebs now.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you Al. Happy New Year
ReplyDeletePeace and good health are wished for you and Pheebs. Barb M.
ReplyDeleteAl, hang in there dear virtual friend, many of us have been in your situation & know how hard it 😰 😰.
ReplyDeleteLike everyone else has said, they understand that you are struggling with the unknown, but give yourself time and it will get better.
ReplyDeleteI know you like to read. This is a good book on a writer's experience of the first year of the death of her husband:
ReplyDeleteDidion, Joan. The Year of Magical Thinking. First Vintage International edition, Vintage International, 2005. Marva from Seattle
Hope the New Year brings you peace. Take care!
ReplyDeleteDear Al,
ReplyDeleteI am so very very sorry about your pain.
Grief is tough. Especially after the loss of such a lovely and bright person like Kelly.
Ohhhh, how I am enjoying and loving “Kelly’s Corner”! BAs are millions of your other blog fans,
It’s obvious you two had a wonderful unique love and relationship.
Al, you have lost the love of your life (Kelly) - AND - you have lost a beautiful relationship.
Knowing you like to read, I have a book to recommend. It’s a short one.
With lots of wisdom. And even a touch of humour. Kind of like your mesmerizing and entertaining Blog.
This book was recommended to me (and others) - by a retired fire chief - who was a member in the Grief Recovery Group that I (and others) were attending. He had lost his Dear Wife.
I bought the book. And thought it was wonderful. Not too deep, not much “deep psychological talk”. Not “syrupy”.
Just full of love, practical advice, full of outstanding knowledge about grief. And how to survive it. So helpful!
Soon after, I was asked to become a “lay” volunteer grief counselor for my church. I had to go through much training. And I bought several of these books. To keep on hand….. Over the years, I have given MANY of these books (paperback), to those I have been blessed to be able to help them - even if just a little bit - as they process their grief.
(Even though there isn’t “religion” mentioned, my grief advisor agreed it was a great - “QUICK START” to the road of recovery). And the ones I gave them to all enjoyed them. (I still pull mine off the shelf occasionally).
Probably one of the most important things I learned from this book, and now share with others on their Grief Journey - is that - even as one goes / grows through the process (steps/stages of grief) - it’s not always a straight path. Sometimes, just when you think “you have made progress” - “are doing better” - it’s possible to fall back into a previous stage. And then, eventually, you will get back up, and continue on your Journey.
You will survive the loss of dear, sweet, smart, Kelly. You will probably not be the same. But you will still be Al.
I have an extra paperback. Would love to mail it you, if I had your address. And then, there’s that pesky postal strike.
Sooooo - the book is available on Amazon (US). Probably available on Amazon (CA)
Maybe it’s in Kelly’s beloved library?
Take care, Al. Yes, you will be okay. You will get those things done. Sooner or later, you will.
Keep taking those rides and walks with Pheebs. Keep taking naps.
Most importantly: Keep writing - when you can - it’s cathartic.
Al you blog so honestly, and with such intent!
Al, please know you are teaching and helping millions of your blog readers - all over the world!!
Sending positive thoughts and caring prayers to you, Al.
The book:
By Peter McWilliams Harold H. Bloomfield Melba Colgrove -
How to Survive the Loss of a Love
(A small but mighty book)
Regards, Seal Beach Fan
Al, the new year will be bittersweet, however with Miss Pheebs by your side and taking it one day at a time, I promise over time you will be stronger than before. Take care.
ReplyDeleteYou need to take time to grieve and take care of yourself- Mary Lou in TN
ReplyDeleteBe here when you can,
ReplyDeleteknowing we care about you and Pheebs (and Kelly) always,Mary
She wouldn't want you to be sad. She loved you, you her. It doesn't end. Love stays with you once shared, forever. You'll be ok. In your heart, you know all this already. We love you, Al & Pheebs.
ReplyDeleteA new year for you in more than the calendar. Wishing you peace and a return to the cloud-free spirit to sustain you.
ReplyDeleteAll the best to you in this New Year. May you find peace in the midst of your tremendous loss.
ReplyDeleteI'm wishing you and Pheebs a very good year! Don't push yourself too hard by thinking you have to blog daily. You don't need to blog unless you feel like blogging. We all understand and want the best for you.
ReplyDelete