WHY ISN'T A FOOTLONG.....A FOOT LONG!!!!

I ALREADY HAD A COUPLE BITES OUT OF MY "FOOTLONG" BEFORE I THOUGHT TO TAKE A PICTURE OF IT

It's never quite spring each year until I've made my annual trip to the south end of Bayfield for my foot long hot dog with the works. The Woodland Drive-In has just opened for another season & I was there at noon. And, just as in other years, I asked myself the same question. Why isn't the footlong hot dog a foot long?? To be sure, I once again measured the dog with my trusty tape measure from the glove box & sure enough it came out to 9 inches. Why is that!!!! If your going to call it a footlong hot dog then make it a foot long!! Why can't the butcher & the baker get to-gether & agree to match their products to 12 inches. What is so hard about that. Or, maybe the Drive-In should be advertising them as, "9 inchTube Steaks" or "Mini- Footlongs" or "Stretched Dogs" or "Shortened Pig in a Blanket" or "Swine in Nine!!" Or maybe they should just knock off 10 cents an inch or something.

And why is that everytime I go to put an electrical plug into a socket it is never the right way round. The fat prong is always at the smaller hole & vice versa. And since when did extension cords have to have minds of their own. No matter how straight I lay out a long extension cord, as soon as I turn my back it puts a kink in itself & the longer I'm away the more kinkier it gets!! Tangled extension cords can reduce me to tears in seconds:(( And garden hoses.....where do they get off thinking they're so smart. Try & walk anywhere with a garden hose in your hand & it's going to snag itself on something. Even if there's nothing there to snag on, it's going to snag itself anyway just to be miserable. And to add insult to injury, it will kink itself as well. I call that double jeopardy. A kink & snag!! Kinks & snags can reduce me to tears in seconds:(( And how about whenever you bend over to pick something up you have to drop it!! I call that...... pick & drop. Happens to me almost everytime & maybe three or four times in a row on a bad day. Hate when that happens. And why does the shovel, rake, or whatever long handled device you lean against a tree or something, have to fall over as soon as you turn your back. I have leaned garden rakes against things, stood there & stared at it to make sure it wouldn't fall, turned around to walk away......."clunk!!" And how come I can't hit a nail on the head like everybody else. Last week I was nailing up some old pine fence rails with 5 inch nails. No big deal except it would take me 10 swings at that nail to hit it twice. And when I did hit it, the nail would go in crooked or go flying off over the fence somewhere!! Hammers & nails can reduce me to tears in seconds:((

I do have one good thing on my side though. A darn good handy & patient wife. I was trying to put air in one of the Santa Fe's tires yesterday morning. Getting air into a tire for me has always been a major feat. I don't know why but it just has. Had the compressor going full tilt but try as I might the air just wouldn't co-operate again. Kelly walks over, picks up the hose, puts it on the valve & whoosh, all the happy little air particles merrily rush off into the tire. Same thing happened about a month ago on the ranch in Arizona when I was trying to blow up a bicycle tire. No way Jose!! Kelly comes over & whoosh, away go the little air guys again. These kinds of happenings are almost a daily occurrence at our house but instead of looking on the negative side of things & my limited abilities, I have to look on the positive side & be thankful I have a mechanically patient, calm, cool, & collected wife who understands her husband is a bit of an impatient boob when it comes to handyman things. But hey.......I'm still pretty darned good at getting stuck on lids off jars & stuff..............:))

Sorry I didn't have any better pictures than a half eaten hot dog to-day. Maybe to-morrow I'll get some clear shots of a UFO or something. And maybe one of these days I'll get enough photos to-gether to put up another web album again:))

OUR PHOTO ALBUMS http://picasaweb.google.com/stargeezerguy/