IN KEEPING WITH LAST NIGHT’S SNOW THEME IN OUR CURRENT HEAT WAVE, I HAVE INTERSPERSED TONIGHT’S POST WITH SOME COOLING PHOTOS FROM OUR ARIZONA HOUSE THIS PAST MARCH
Yikes, looks like I had myself spinning out of control in Wednesday's post when I was talking about my reversal of decision on air conditioning. Seems I did a whirly-gig turn & my 360 degree spin put me right back in the position of poo pooing A/C. Luckily, GORDON from over there near that Ottawa town somewhere spotted my pirouette & informed me a 180 degree turn was indeed the one I was looking for to send me off in an opposite direction. I thank you Sir for getting me straightened out on that:))
And CRACKER BARREL, one of our favorite eating stops while on the road, has once again found it’s way into our lives. Some may remember a year ago when a certain Cracker Barrel box was dropped off at DEER PARK LODGE with our names on it. Inside that box was a Camera Birdhouse. A few days ago a second box from Cracker Barrel was dropped off addressed to Kelly & I once again. This time a Radio Birdhouse. So, how are these Birdhouses making their way across the border from the States to our house. Well, none other than their own personal couriers Ron and Jan Krauter. Ron is the personable fellow who owns & operates FOUR SEASONS PERFORMANCE where we traded in our truck and fifth wheel for a Motor Home back in the Spring of 07. Ron knew of my interest in photography so when he spied a Birdhouse Cam a year ago at a Cracker Barrel, he picked it up. Ron & Jan have also hit on the fact I enjoy music as well so I’m guessing this week’s Radio Birdhouse has a significant connection to my musical ear. Thanks a lot guys, much appreciated by the Bayfield Bunch & all our front yard Bird Pals:))
YAY RON & JAN…WE THANK YOU, THE BIRDS THANK YOU, & CRACKER BARREL THANKS YOU AS WELL:))
Sure was another cooker today as I headed myself off to the Stratford General Hospital about an hour east of Bayfield. Totally enjoyable drive as I absorbed myself in the surrounding scenery in an attempt to ward off any thoughts about the procedure ahead. My check in time was 9:45 so of course I was there at 9:30. Never know when somebody ahead of me might chicken out & I could get in sooner. Anytime I go to places like that my main mission is to just get things over with as quickly as possible & get the heck out of there again.
Stopped in at the Hospital lobby snack bar & had myself a Tuna sandwich before checking in. Boy, did I ever regret that a little while later. Nothing wrong with the sandwich but after sitting in a waiting room for nearly an hour with remnants of a Tuna sandwich hanging around in my mouth & no water to wash it down with, I was nearly needing a clothespin to put on my nose to keep my breath from knocking me out.
THIS TUNA SANDWICH CAME BACK TO HAUNT ME ABOUT HALF AN HOUR LATER, WHAT WAS I THINKING!!
The nurse lady took me in right away & led to the locker room. She gave me a yellow card with a number on it & I therefore became number 35 in the great hospital scheme of things. With instructions to step into a cubicle & remove all my clothing from the waist down she explained the dreaded blue hospital gown & gave me a towel to spit on. What!!!! I was sure that is what she said but I could not figure out why I would need a towel to spit on. What was it about this upcoming stent removal procedure they had not told me about. Decided to leave my shirt on....which I later regretted. Placed the towel over my arm & headed for the waiting room. Three elderly Gals were already there as I sashayed by with one arm wrapped around behind me like noodle trying to hold the open back together. Summoned up my cheeriest but somewhat embarrassed 'Good Morning.' Whenever I enter a room I generally head for the furthest & darkest corner there is. This morning was no exception. I wasn't exactly in the mood for talking over medical procedures with these ladies. Placed my 'spitting towel' on a little table & proceeded to sit down. Oh Oh, I was right away in trouble.
TODAY I WAS PATIENT #35 & HERE YOU SEE MY WAITING BLUE HOSPITAL GOWN & SPITTING TOWEL:((
"That towel is to sit on young man"!! Oh Geeeezzzzz, now it all made sense. The Nurse Lady had said the towel was to sit on, not spit on. And yes, it did make sanitary sense. Well, I had to quickly explain my fopa & could tell by their chuckles of understanding I had gotten myself off the hook. Well, at least for now. The waiting room was very silent & I immediately noticed the absence of music coming from the ceiling. And no 2 year old tattered issues of Ladies Home Journal scattered about on any of the tables. In fact, the room was dimly lit & I assume the purpose is to keep waiting patients in a quiet, reflective & subdued mood. Worked for me. One by one the Ladies were called away never to return. But, soon enough their chairs were filled with 3 old duffers looking a lot like myself. Gray hair, glasses, balding & everyone of them shaking uncontrollably. Well OK, maybe not the last one but those 3 guys nearly had me shaking uncontrollably. No sooner had they all filtered in before all the medical tales of woe began. Didn't seem to matter how gruesome one guys medical procedure was, the next guy could hardly wait for the first guy to take a breath so he could get started on his even more grotesque tail of medical gruesomeness. You know what a bunch of men can be like when they get together. This went on for about 15 minutes & just about the time I was figuring on climbing out the adjoining hall window & shinnying down the drain pipe, a nurse came in & called out. "35". Awwwww nuts!! Total time in that waiting room by the was just under an hour.
I was led into a small room where I apparently signed my life away & then was led down the hall to a much bigger & brighter room. I knew the jig was up now because there in the center of the room was that dreaded 'operating type table.' And there just on the other side against the wall with his back to me, stood Doc Robot himself. Even with his green Martian garb on I recognized his slim stern features. He stood silently in front of some kind of computer screen with colored lights or something. Shades of the movie Dr. Frankenstein raced through my head. But, no time for thinking. The Nurse lady was talking to me a mile a minute as she got me positioned on the bed. I think that is intentional to keep one's mind off what lies ahead. Then it was up with my blue hospital gown as she completely doused me in that icky sticky brown disinfectant liquid. This was certainly a very awkward & weird position for a grown man to be in. Doc Robot, with his back to me was still at his machine. Suddenly, with nary a word he whirled around like a gunfighter at the OK Corral & commenced the procedure, & he certainly didn't waste any words on me except to say something about numbing. I won't get to graphic here but from the time he went fishing for that stent to the time he zinged it out of me was probably about 30 seconds. In that thirty seconds I had a couple face scrunches, a few fist clenches & a couple, "Oh Dears". The pain was not as bad as I had been anticipating but there were some short sharp bites along the way. I would have to describe the whole procedure as being more uncomfortable than anything else. Sharpest pain came when he locked that needle nose pliers onto the end of the stent & ripped er out in less than a heartbeat. And that was it.
Thirty seconds after that stent was out, my feet were on the floor & the Nurse was pointing me out the door. Boy, was I a mess with all that yukky disinfectant stuff running down my legs. And, I noticed right away it was all over the tail of my shirt as well. I waddled out of the room & ducked walked my way down the hall back to the lockers. Kinda gave the 3 guys in the waiting room a na-nana-nana- na on the way by too. I would say from the time I entered that procedure room to the time I walked out of that procedure room was no more than 5 minutes. That Doc Robot is sure quick on the draw alright & he did actually say to me as I was heading out the door, "see you at the Clinton Hospital in about a month to see how your doing." So that was it, never had a chance to ask any questions at all. This certainly was a stent removal process only.......nothing more, nothing less. No chit chatting with this fellow.
OF COURSE THIS IS ABOUT A WEEK & HALF BEFORE WE HAD THE HOUSE STUCCOED
Hustled myself right out of that Hospital just as fast as my wee short legs would carry me & headed for the parking lot. The crushing heat was oppressive. With no A/C in the Jeep I just wanted to get home quick as I could. Fast stop at a Sobeys supermarket for some Cranberry Juice & bananas & I was westbound out of town into the country toot sweet.
About half way home I spotted a small object in the center of the road & as I went by I saw it was a Painted Turtle. No immediate traffic so I quickly got on the brakes, stopped & backed up to where the turtle was. The pavement was hot from the beating sun & I knew this little fellow was going to be in some serious trouble very shortly. Picked him up & put him on the floor of the passenger side. I knew there was a creek a couple miles up the road so that's where we headed. He was a rambunctious little guy because by the time I reached that creek he had already climbed over my 2 Cranberry Juice bottles, across my 3 bananas & up the side of the passenger seat to sit there quizzically staring at me. I quickly pulled over, opened the passenger door, picked the fellow up & took him down the bank to the creek. I think he was one very happy little Turtle when I slipped him into the cooling waters of that quiet little country stream. Made my day:))
HE SURE WAS A FORLORN & LONELY LITTLE TURTLE IN THE CENTER OF THE ROAD UNTIL I WAS ABLE TO DROP HIM OFF AT HIS DIGS JUST UP THE ROAD:))
THANKS MR. STRANGER >>>
GROANER'S CORNER:(( "I say, madam, why do you want to get a divorce?" "My husband treats me like a dog." "Does he mistreat you? does he hit you?" "No, he wants me to be faithful to him."
And, what do you get when you cross a dog with a phone? A golden receiver of course! And, what is more amazing than a talking dog? Would you believe........a spelling bee. Ok, that's enough of that. Alright, one more. What kind of dog does a mad scientist have? A Laboratory Retriever:))
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- Tourists see the world, travelers experience it.
- Home is where your pet is:))
- The only thing better than right now will someday be the memories of right now...AL.
stargeezerguy@gmail.com
