THIS HERE HAT'S MY FAV...RIGHT FROM THE 'HIGH LONESOME' STORE IN ELFRIDA, ARIZONA.......YES SIREEEEE:))
For over 60 years I got away with not having to wear hats. Never did like the darn things anyway. Always figured they made people look kinda silly & what useful purpose did they serve besides making people look....well, kinda silly.
And, what do I mean by looking silly?? Ok, it doesn't get much more silly looking than those ridiculous things sitting on the top of Queen Elizabeth's head over there in that England place. Coon traps, Beaver dams, old rusting battleship gun turrets with wild paint splashed on them? Not just her, but seems like all those royalty fluffs have their head's adorned with some kind of goofy looking foreign & lost machinery parts of sorts!!
AWWW C'MON DAD, ENOUGH WITH THIS HAT STUFF!!
Now, back here to this side of the pond!! I never liked ball caps & that's probably because they were always popular & all the guys were wearing them. Curved brims, flat brims, big letters, flashy logos & whatever else could be dragged through the garden & put on them. Never did like those Dutchman caps either. Reminded me of some little kid standing around with his finger stuck in a dike somewhere. And besides, they looked kind of wussy or something. Always liked Cowboy hats though but up here in our neck of the woods in Ontario a feller runs the risk of being carted off in an unmarked white windowless van to the funny farm if he were spotted wearing a cowboy hat. Kinda like Woody, from the cartoon character in the Tom Hanks movie, Toy Story. Ya just kind of stick out like a sore thumb!!
DAISIES BY DAYLIGHT
Never had to wear a hat until we started RVing a few years ago. And, I say I had to because I sure wouldn't stick one of those clothy mossmagators on my head if I didn't have to.....but here's my problem!!
STOPPING TO SMELL THE BUTTERCUPS
I'm pushing 66 & still have a full head of hair & it's naturally curly. I can quickly look like a bushy gray Brillo pad on any given damp day. I have a tendency to grow my hair a bit on the long side because I don't care for that shaved billiard ball look that is supposed to be so cool these days. Don't want to be thought of as 'going with the flow' you know!!
AN OLD CROW KEEPS A WARY EYE ON THE BAYFIELD BUNCH WALKING BY
My hair problem begins sometime in the night when I'm sleeping. I go to bed looking reasonably civilized for 65 but by the time morning rolls around my head looks like the whole Chinese Army did a route march right from one side of my left ear to the other. And, by the looks of it they all apparently wear hob nail boots too!!!!
BLUE SKIES ABOVE THE SUMAC LEAVES
When we are home for the summer I can get away with this because I have a shower every morning & wash my hair. I can get it wrestled down into some kind of controlled flattened pattern of sorts & if I mousse it to death enough the pattern might hold for the day thus preventing me from scaring small children on the street & elderly folks on my mobility van drives.
CLEMATIS FLOWER IN OUR BACKYARD
Boondocking is our preferred lifestyle while we are on the road during the winter season. Because of a limited water supply I am unable to have that daily morning shower or even wash my hair in a bucket. The only option I have is to plop one of those misguided monkey caps on my head to cover up the scary hair plume.
HEY, YOU LOOKIN AT ME AGAIN!!!!!
Luckily, in the American Southwest cowboy hats are the norm & preferred head coverings for all the locals. Big hats in a big land just seem to go hand & hand. I blend right in with my big 22 ten ton cowboy hat & I am totally comfortable with that. However, there are some problems here too. We have a small car & I have a big cowboy hat. Only room for one of us in the car at the same time. The wide brim interferes with my picture taking as well but then again so does the brim on a ball cap unless I spin it around backwards which by the way you can't do with a cowboy hat or your going to end up looking like the east end of a horse going west.
I tried wearing my black cowboy hat to work one day a couple summer's ago. There isn't a lot of room to maneuver around in the back of the mobility van & it kept falling or getting knocked off while I tried to fasten the floor belts to the wheelchair frames. The last straw came when I bent over to pull an elderly lady's wheelchair into the back of the van. Hat fell off & landed in her lap. She quickly beat it to death thinking she was being attacked by a giant black widow spider!!
Now, here's the really scary part. This winter time RVing hat habit of mine has followed me home again this year!! First noticed back in 07 that I was beginning to wear those menacing head muffins even though we were home & I was back into my daily shower routine. Without even thinking anymore I just automatically reach for one of my goofy ball caps before heading out the door every morning. Guess I should mention here that girls can wear these ball caps much cuter & better than guys do.
Years ago I beat an alcohol dependency & then a tobacco dependency. Now, here I am again at 65 dealing with another dam dependency. A 'hat on my head' dependency!!!!!!!!! Ya, ya, I know.............get a haircut, quit my griping, & go to bed!! Say, how about a nightcap. A cappuccino perhaps:))
GROANER'S CORNER:(( And remember to be extra nice to your kids because they could be the one's choosing your nursing home someday!!
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The only thing better than right now will someday be the memories of right now...... AL.